In a previous blog, I discussed how I was trying to make appointments with myself. I continue to make these appointments. But, in reality, it is hard to schedule appointments with myself, while I am sick and recently, Tom had been ill. I cherish these appointments and truly look forward to them as a way to escape the pain, medical procedures, etc. I had an appointment yesterday, with the manatees, to grab some photos of them. The "appointment" went way too fast! It started and was over in a heart beat. The activities making me feel most fulfilled and peaceful, are any activities that involve my photographing wildlife. Prior to my diagnosis, I was training Annie to become a field champion. I really enjoyed the training, but, now, looking back at it, was I enjoying the training, or, was I really enjoying being outside in nature? I think it is safe to say I was enjoying nature, using training Annie as an excuse. Don't get me wrong, training was also a mental exercise that i enjoyed, but I think the fact that I was outside contributed to my enjoyment.
I am switching my paradigm to cope with the ramifications or side effects of my chosen activities and how they affect my living under the autoimmune disease umbrella. Yesterday, after the photography, I knew I needed to rest before the drive back. (I also needed a pain pill). I went to a local country restaurant, grabbed a good breakfast and relaxed, allowing the pain med to work, preparing for the drive back. Only months ago, I would not have taken this "break", I would have continued to "mow" through my disease, and come home exhausted. But, by taking the break, I was able to come home, still needing a rest, but not paying for my activity the next day. Baby steps.. Breaks, taking a breather....this is a shift in my paradigm of only last month.
Most of my "wildlife" photography in nature is done alone. Yesterday I had the pleasure of a good friend coming with me. I enjoyed his company, and his thoughts on what the manatees were doing. He also encouraged me capture an osprey with some fantastic lighting, and answered a very important question about a new lens I was looking at, for the first time, I can tell you what I want for my birthday! I also had my own assignment for myself of working some of the rules of photography. After our photography session, we discussed how important it is to "keep" a piece of these "good days". If we "store" up these good, positive, and productive moments, they can be used as reserve for those days when... your medical diagnosis can and will become all consuming. The lesson was not lost on me, however, the lesson was magnified when I got home. Sitting on my Facebook page, is the accompanying picture. Rick, the friend who was with me, had captured me, in a moment where I was deeply focused on the manatees. At first glance, I became vain, seeing the flaws of me in the picture. Upon further discussion with Tom, Rick, and Leisa, they all pointed out the positives in the photo, that photo has now turned out to be a true favorite, a photo I will cherish. As Rick said, he was just trying to capture a "piece" of the day for me. He did capture a piece of the day, but it is up to me to "utilize" it to its full potential. And... I plan to do just that, starting today......
God satisfies me when I am thirsty and fills me with good things when I am hungry.” Psalm 107:9
Photo by Rick Wood ~ 4/2012
Rick C Wood Photography
Blessings ~ Kim
No comments:
Post a Comment