DAY 51 AND 52 OF 365

Sleeping Beauty

So-- yesterday, as near as I could figure was day 5 of no sleep, due to pain, and my head not turning off with the *what if* questions.. I know this pattern, as I am the queen of insomnia. And RAD adds to that, when your pain is so severe it WILL break thru your sleep pattern. I was slipping down the slippery slope. A slope I have experienced once before in my life, when I was in my mid twenties. Sleep deprivation leads me to not eating, losing a ton of weight and basically-- becoming severely depressed. The important thing is, I recognized it, identified it, and I called in my support system, and they know, from past experience, when Kim calls, for sleep deprivation...actions must be taken quickly. 2 doctor appointments yesterday- coupled with conference calls between the dr's., and they all agreed, that I was a tough cookie to get to sleep once I started a cycle like this.. (Hey, who stayed awake for her last colonoscopy?!?) The docs know I am afraid of medication and I fight taking it and I fight sleep. They both convinced me, that-- I really needed to be sedated, they assured me I would be safe and OK, and that I really needed to break the cycle....so as much as I hated to do it, I filled the meds, and slept 13 hours straight. Yes, I am still in pain in that left hip, but-- pain is a lot easier to handle and tolerate if you are not sleep deprived on top of it. Next week, my Rheum doctor has arranged for me to start seeing a physiologost, basically a pain management person who treats the body as a whole, in a holistic manner, as well as using conventional medicine. In the meantime, I plan to catch up on my sleep---I know this is all in the Lord's plan, and I am in the grieving process for a lifestyle altered in the ways I had planned. I am in the "loss" stage of my grief.. Loss of what could have been, and fear of what might be...and I will work those things out with my positive support system.. of professionals and friends alike....

Speaking of friends, a quick diversion... the last few days, I have seen WHO my true friends are, and I appreciate them all, I have a lot, and can;t name them all by name but all... they texted, they emailed, they called, they played Words with Friends with me! I appreciate all of you--- special congratulations to Rick Wood for landing a job that is going to work around his menieres dx! YOU GO RICK! Check out his blog on his sea turtle documentary Journey Home.

And another special mention to Trey Wafer, a Twitter buddy who disappeared a few months ago, and all of his Rheum friends were seriously concerned about him. I knew he was out there, he was following my blog. I had literally sent out APB looking for this guy--- and today--- he pops up! The entire #Rheum Room was deeply concerned about him. Trey- I don't know where you were, and you don't have to tell us, just know you were DEEPLY MISSED by your #rheum friends and we are SO GLAD you are BACK! I say PARTY in the #Rheum Room tonight, I will bring the HOT WANGS!

Psalms 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Blessings--- and get some rest! ~ Kim